An interview with great American author Philip Roth

Editor's note: Tight Spot's literary porn editor Jack Spear recently was granted a one-on-one interview with famous author Philip Roth, the author of such seminal novels as "Good-bye Columbus" and a couple of books, including some very long ones, that were never made into movies. Roth arrived at the interview, a foyer here in the offices of Tight Spot, wearing a knee-length wool coat, a white shirt, a black tie, black shoes, gray slacks, a scarf, leather driving gloves and a wool beanie watch cap wadded up and stuffed into his coat pocket. At least we guessed that's what the wad in his pocket was. It could have been something else. Roth is Jewish and many of his main characters are Jewish and many of their motivations and actions and explanations for their actions is pinned by the author on their Jewishness, so maybe the wad in his pocket was a yarmulke, which is a skullcap worn by Jewish people of all faiths, not just writers. Here, then, is a partial transcript of Spear's interview with the great Jewish-American novelist Philip Roth.
Tight Spot: Has anyone ever said you look like a hawk?
Roth: No.
Tight Spot: Fine. Then let me be the first.
Roth: Be my guest. Knock yourself out.
T.S.: You know, as the literary porn editor here at Tight Spot, I get to read a lot of steamy stuff. Do you write about sex very much?
Roth: No.
T.S.: Except that Sabbath book.
Roth: Sabbath's Theater. Yes. I wrote that book 15 years ago.
T.S.: No shit? I just read it. It's pretty good!
Roth (glancing at his watch): Thanks.
T.S.: There's some pretty nasty language in there.
Roth (silent):
T.S.: I mean Tight Spot is a family-oriented blog, so I won't be able to repeat some of the words you used when I ask you about certain scenes. I'll use euphemisms instead. For instance, in one scene, Mickey Sabbath, the arthritic puppeteer and the protagonist of the novel -- like I have to tell you that! -- fires the surgeon general while lying atop the grave of his former lover. Why?
Roth (furrowing his brow): Why what?
T.S.: Why's he painting the ceiling on a grave site?
Roth: 'Painting the ceiling?'
T.S.: You know! Choking the chicken?
Roth: Masturbating?
T.S.: Hey! C'mon! My kids read this!
Roth: But what you are referring to is when Sabbath masturbates on Drenka's grave.
T.S. Yeah.
Roth: I don't know. It's just his way of remembering her.
T.S.: I would have thought there was more to it than that.
Roth: There isn't.
T.S.: Who's your favorite female novelistic pornographer? There are some women out there doing some really fine work.
Roth: 'Novelistic porn'? Is that what you think 'Sabbath' is?
T.S.: Not really. You use the language but you don't go into the juicy details. Except for when Drenka is doing that -- what was it? -- a university professor? But Jane Smiley, you ever read anything by her? She's hot.
Roth: I'm not familiar with her work.
T.S.: Really? You should read Jane Smiley. "Ten Days in the Hills?" It's pretty much non-stop sex -- in detail.
Roth (furrowing brow and glancing at watch): ?
T.S.: McGuane does some pretty good stuff, but not Jim Harrison.
Roth: I'm not familiar with her work.
T.S.: Those are guys, Phil. Tell me about Zuckerberg. You wrote a trilogy about the creator of Facebook before Facebook was even created. Fascinating!
Roth: Zuckerberg? You mean Zuckerman?
T.S.: Was it Zuckerman? Is that a Jewish name?
Roth: The character was Jewish, yes.
T.S.: OK, another Jewish guy. Now, I'm not pretending like I've read every book you've ever read, but I'm wondering now what the deal is with all these Jewish guys you write about! Are these guys all actually you? If so, what's your wife think about some of the wild stuff you did with Drenka and some of these other babes? I mean she's got to look at you a little differently after reading some of that stuff. I'm talking here about the backdoor business, the lesbian menage trois -- good stuff, but I think someone forgot to tell you the best literary porn leaves a little bit to the imagination, Phil.
Roth: I'll remember that.
T.S.: OK, great. Listen, I got to run, man, but thanks for stopping by. Where to next? Some kind of Jewish ritual or something?
Roth: I'm off to bang this one chick every which way possible, during which I'll have a detailed discussion about my length and breadth, the texture of her you-know-what and it will all be narrated by a Yiddish-sounding guy who will be matter of fact but also somehow pissed off at the entire world, particularly women and gentiles or maybe some Puerto Ricans. Then I'll piss on somebody's grave. I'll drive some weak-willed child to despicable acts. Throughout, I'll burrow deep into my own psyche, my own torment, the twisted, menacing core of my sensibilities, and revel in them and explore them in excruciating detail without reaching a meaningful conclusion. Afterward, inexplicably, I'll enjoy some gentleman's time in the shower, arguing, as it were, with Henry Longfellow, cuddling the kielbasa, baby.
T.S.: OK, great. Thanks Phil.
Roth: Thank you.